See, I've got my eyes set so far on the future and waiting til my husband and I finally get to be parents that I have been forgetting that future could be in 9 short months. I felt nothing those first 7 days (aside from the actual pain and itchiness of the injection sites and those first fleeting cramps I mentioned before). But starting Friday night I have been cramping something aweful. And when you start to feel physical pains that you CAN'T ignore then it sends your brain into a whirlwind of crazy thoughts. Most women who are actively trying to get pregnant are anxiously awaiting a positive pregnancy result and may be searching for pregnancy symptoms. But, women who are going through infertility and on fertility meds actually GET those symptoms as side effects from the medication. Ya know, just to eff with our heads some more.
You give yourself a little pep talk before every trip to the bathroom because you know your dreams are either about to be shattered or you have hope just a little longer.
And you can't do a darn thing about those physical symptoms. If this was a regular month, I'd have popped some ibuprofen and slapped on a heading pad by now. But my doc said no extra meds...
I did everything to keep busy yesterday. I decorated cookies, vacuumed my house, fixed a toilet, mowed the backyard, went to my parents for four hours to watch a football game and all of that barely helped to squelch the battle going on in my head.
I will never be so grateful to see a weekend come to a close. I'll be two days closer to finally having the answer.
Am I or Aren't I?
No comments:
Post a Comment