CD 1

     Well hello, CD 1.  You're a big pain in the rear you know.  You represent disappointment and hope all wrapped into one.  The disappointment for last month's failed cycle (again) and the hope for next month.  You're a monthly reminder of how things never work out the way we want.  To most people you're just a monthly annoyance.  Or maybe even a welcome joy!  (Boy those days of panic before you showed up seem so long ago!) To most people you're just a reason to have to hit up Wal-Mart for the usual supply of tampons and Midol.  To most people you're a welcome sight....(phew...don't have to worry about saying "I'm tired" for a whole week!)  To most people you're a reason to wear black pants to work all week.  In fact, I bet most people don't even think twice about you. 

     But us infertiles...  We live by you.  Our whole schedule is wrapped around your arrival.  You're our reason to schedule Doctor's appointments and our reason to have timed 'relations'.   Because of you, we have to try to forget last month and focus on the month ahead.  It's because of you that we live MONTH to MONTH.  No other one thing about this whole infertility journey defines us more than your existance.  Actually, it's really only you, CD 1, that matters.  Because now we know.  CD 2 will bring the hope.  CD 1 you're the grieving day. 

    



**Side note:  Never thought I'd write a blog entry talking to my period....my how infertility changes things.**