I'm beginning to lose track of how many times I've said that. Aunt Flow arrived an hour and a half before I was to leave for West Virginia on Friday. I'm glad it wasn't while I was on my way to WV! However, this 90 min. window didn't leave me much time to call my doctor, give him time to look over my chart, call in a prescription for me and the pharmacy enough time to fill it. Then I had to make a stop by Wal-Mart to pick up the prescription.
We're trying a Frozen Embryo Transfer this month. And because of this, I had to start on Estrace/Estradoil on Day 2 of my period. Insert GRATEFULNESS to GOD here for letting me start on Friday and not Saturday when any possibility for an FET would have been blown.
I think I know atleast 10 pregnant people at the moment. Some about ready to pop but the majority due in November. And you know what makes me the saddest? ALL of them are either on their 2nd child or were married after me (that is, IF they're married). When will it be our turn? I went to my nieces birthday party this weekend and my heart was breaking. Don't get me wrong, I had a great time and loved seeing my sister in law and brother in law and niece and nephew, but I spent the entire party watching my s-i-l and b-i-l interact. And I kept thinking "What if Paul and I never get to interact in this type of situation" The simplest act of throwing your kid a birthday party. What if I never get the chance to watch him put up a pinata for our kid? What if I never get to hear our kid call him Daddy? See...I know I'm a strong woman and I know I could find some way to cope if we NEVER had a kid...but I'm not sure I could ever get over my husband not being able to be a father. He'd be so good at it. I know if you asked him, he'd probably say the exact same thing about me. I want us to have the dynamic of children added to our relationship.
You know what the most frustrating part about all this is? We did things RIGHT! All those things that are drilled into your head from as early as you can remember. We dated for a long time, we got married, we bought a house, we paid down some bills, we got a dog and now we CAN'T have a kid? How come? It's so frustrating to try to define ourselves without completing the next phase. Because if you don't have kids after all that...then what do you have? What comes next?
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