That's still so weird for me to process. Less than two months ago we were focused on solely providing for a baby and then bam, elementary schooler invasion. Less than two weeks ago we were finally given permission to register the elementary schooler at our local school. Which, unfortunately in the foster care world, only tells us the child will be with us when the school year begins. After that, your guess is as good as ours and we find ourselves in this weird limbo. It's so hard to describe, especially since our current situation is so temporary....which is exactly why it feels like limbo (duh!).
I already anticipated some of the more challenging decisions needed to be made at an open house...to buy a fall festival shirt or not, given all our unknowns, etc.? And I knew from other foster momma posts to brace myself for all the child's 'about me' forms. A simple addition of the word foster before the words mom & dad seemed to help solve that problem...at least on today's simple questionnaire. But I didn't anticipate the need to tell the world that this kiddo was my foster child, while trying to keep it under wraps just as equally. I want our child to have the ability to tell their own story, in their own time, but I also want teachers and counselors and other parents to be aware so they can provide the best possible support. Toeing the line of privacy and transparency is mentally exhausting.
But, then, God gives us these wonderful moments where we are able to see the threads he has woven throughout our whole lives to get us to that very moment. And in the moment where I needed it most today, sitting alone at a desk, filling out challenging & unknown questions for a child I have known for less than two months, HE met me and I was so, so grateful.
My elementary school memories are centered around a core group of children. We always seemed to be in the same classes year after year, we lived near each other, our parents were all very involved and they are sweet, innocent and happy memories. And I think part of the reason they are so sweet, innocent and happy in my mind is because I moved to a new school in fifth grade. Consequently, those friendships I formed so early on managed to stay untainted by the changing dynamics of the middle and high school years. To this day, whenever I randomly bump into one of those people, I am instantly transported back to some of my most favorite memories. And today, while sitting at my elementary schooler's desk, in walked one of those very children from my elementary school days because his child is now in my child's class. Coincidentally, we became friends in the very same grade level classroom we were in today. And I had one of my flashbacks. And as I turned around and looked at my elementary schooler, I saw my child in a new light. Because when I think about my friends from those years, I remember it all so vividly. We've (undoubtedly, because all parents do) had some struggles with our child and today was such a sweet gift. I sat there, in humble awareness and inner laughter, at all God can do, all from a series of events He started orchestrating 28 years ago.
Our child had begun to play with another child while I was having my momentary flashback and in a very serendipitous conversation with the child's parents who were sitting just diagonal from me, I realized the child my child was engaging with, lives in our neighborhood. And I immediately was aware that my prayer for my kiddo of stability and familiar faces, had been heard...and not by any of the key people we knew it would be, but by the developing of a new friendship. Someone who will be on the same bus and will be finding their way to the same class.
Foster care is hard. And it is going to hurt like hell when these kids leave, but I will be forever grateful for the opportunity to continuously witness God's grace and goodness in the most unexpected places firsthand.
And, in case you were wondering, I did buy the Fall Festival shirts...because...well, faith.
No comments:
Post a Comment