'Tis the Season

Every now and then when I'm in the middle of doing something incredibly ordinary I get an in-the-face reminder of how long we've been on this journey.  And, honestly, it kind of makes me stagger back a bit, lose my balance, my heart jumps into my throat and then I have to work through that momentary shock. 

 

I think those brief reality checks will always have a way of creeping up on me and there just isn't a way to guard my heart against them because I never really expect them.

 

Back in 2009 I bought an awesome Christmas book and I have detailed every tiny little thing about our Christmas season in it for the past 5 years.  I'm sad our first two years aren't in the book, but I'm grateful for the years that are and the memories it provides. 

 

So, when it makes its yearly appearance I usually read through it.

And that's when it happened. 

The very last sentence I wrote in 2009.

 

 

And I realize that was FIVE years ago already. 

The house was still and quiet while I was reading, the only sound I could hear was the flickering from the candle flame.

In that moment, as I felt time actively slipping through my fingers, the newest addition to our house chimed.

 

How appropriate.

 

 

My grandmother was recently moved out of her apartment and into a Health Care Center at a retirement community and consequently many of her belongings were divvied up between the family members.

Somehow no one had yet claimed this clock.

Every time it chimes, I'm reminded of my grandfather who passed away a little over a month after we were married.  I'm reminded of all the times, as a child, I would open the glass front to stop the arm so it wouldn't chime all through the night and keep me awake at my grandparent's house.  

I'm happy it somehow found it's new home at my house (not that I gave any of my other family members an option to take it). 

 

 

Luckily for me, my reality checks are usually fleeting.  I've learned over the past seven years how to regroup myself very quickly. 

It helps that I love everything about December.

 

Like celebrating my marriage to this man.

     And embracing the world through my niece's eyes.

 

 

And being silly and childlike.

 

 

 

And embracing all the Hope that surrounds this time of year.



 

Just as quickly as it came, it passes, and peace settles in.