Hooray for the Today Show!

      I always have The Today Show on while I'm getting ready for work (unless DH has the day off and somehow my TV ends up on "Saved by the Bell".)  I get so excited when I hear them say they're getting ready to do a story on infertility.  Last time I heard them say it they went into the story about the couple who got the wrong embryo and had to decide whether or not to carry the child for the biological parents.  Yikes.  Seriously TV people?  It's bad enough millions of people suffer through infertility every day...let's throw a horror story into the mix.  But then I realized they must have needed to do a story in which people could feel compassion and sorrow and empathize with the couple through those emotions....because no matter how many people suffer with infertility there are millions more who don't.  They will simply never understand it; so how would they relate to a regular (is there such a thing?!) story about infertility without the shock factor. 

      But then this morning they aired a story about a reporter from Fox News who has been down the infertility road and now leads a support group for infertility.  That's fantastic if you live near her.  I'm fairly certain RESOLVE holds a few meetings near me but I haven't tapped into that resource yet as I delved into the blogging and forum world for my support.  And y'all have been absolutely amazing. 

      During the story they gave her background info.  She tried for 2 1/2 years, then conceived twin girls via IVF and a few years (months?) later conceived a son (surprise!) naturally.  She has the ending most of us long for.  She also told the interviewer she had tried for 6 months before ever seeking help. 

      It was then I realized how much I (personally) define myself by numbers.  I scoffed at her 6 months because if you're young you have to wait atleast a year (which we did-with no protection or charting or BC or any real effort....but then we waited ANOTHER year in which we actually TRIED).  I scoffed at her 2 1/2 years  because while it seems like an eternity when you're in it....once you look back on a certain time frame you realize how short it was.  Make sense?   Don't get me wrong...when you CAN'T have a baby because of things your body does or doesn't do or things your husband's body does or doesn't do or things your bodies together do or don't....then everyday feels like an eternity.  I'm convinced noone feels time slipping away faster than someone who's "fertiley challenged".  But I'm sure most of you are just as guilty as I am on this one.....anytime someone says they've been trying for X amount of time, you instantly compare your X amount of time. 

     I remember when I logged into an infertility forum for the very first time.  Right before our first IVF round.  I needed a place where people were going through a similiar experience.   And I read some woman's profile who said they were on their 3rd IVF treatment after 5 years of TTC and I remember clearly thinking "Holy S***, that poor woman...that will NEVER be me" because that naivety and hope that consumes us in those first few months had gotten the better of me.  Surely we would only have to do one IVF round and surely by the end of the year we'd have our baby. 

    But here I sit.  More than 4 years into my marriage and 3 into 'actively' trying to conceive and 4 IUI's, 1 IVF and 1 FET into it.  My heart breaks for those whose 'numbers' are more than mine.  I look up to those women...especially the ones who fall somewhere in between the miscarriage line and the stillborn baby line.  I continue to maintain such a profound sense of thankfulness that our journey has not taken us down that road....

    And for those women who's numbers are 'less' than mine, I pray they find the strength to hang in there.  To keep up the fight...keep up the hope. 

    Numbers don't matter...the only thing they represent is a sheer determination from millions of people to bring a little tiny ball of life into this world.  Besides, once the world labels you as infertile, we all feel the same things...and the only thing that keeps us moving forward is HOPE.